


We All Scream

by Weaselwoman



Series: Norse Crisis Flowchart [5]
Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Ice Cream, Loki Does What He Wants, Norse Crisis Flowchart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 05:26:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1732748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weaselwoman/pseuds/Weaselwoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mini-sequel to <em>Loki in the Marquesas</em>, and an investigation into the psychology of New Yorkers. Takes place about a year after LITM.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We All Scream

SHIELD agents caught up with him soon afterwards.

-x-x-x-

“What’s the deal, Loki?” Nick Fury, director of same, asked with weary implicit violence. One would think they had not worked together to be greeted so uncivilly. At least they were meeting in a typical interrogation room, not the latest version of the Hulk cage, even though Loki was surrounded by faceless armored guards.

“Well, Pepper and I… you know Ms. Potts, yes? We were continuing a discussion we’d had previously.”

“You were picked up by a fingernail salon, according to the reports.”

“Well, these don’t last forever, do they?” Loki waved around his hands, stretched fingers up, showing Fury his lovely black repainted nails (and noted with amusement the SHIELD guards flinching).

“So. A discussion.”

“Just so. Ms. Potts had claimed that Central Park vendor-provided ice cream was better than my Iotuna Vahine brand, simply because the only flavor she had tried disagreed with her. So I offered her a smorgasbord of choices to see whether a different flavor would strike her fancy. And just as I was preparing to create the groaning table…”

Looking at his palmtop, Fury said, “You were struck by a car.”

“ _Anyone’s_ magic would go wide in such a circumstance.”

Fury sighed. “Just change the cars back, Loki.”

“Are you sure? They are loud, polluting nuisances, not to mention the risk of collision.”

“People need to be able to get from place to place, even if it involves driving in Manhattan. _Plus_ , you turned the taxis into ice cream, too, and the buses into sundaes!”

“Hmm,” said Loki slowly. “I don’t know that I can change them back.”

“What!” Fury was half-way across the table.

“Tch. Blood pressure. You could always ride the subway.”

“You want to be back on our super-villain shit list? We’ve already got you contained.”

“I suppose I should not have both of us inconvenienced. But there is a problem. It’s a hot day. The ice cream is melting, and many people have already sampled it. Turning it back into automobile parts in their stomachs might not be a good idea.”

“Loki…” Fury growled.

Ah, yes. Loki was _familiar_ with being growled at. “I suppose I could...” he started to offer.

“What are you proposing.” Fury actually sat back.

“Well, if I could _improve_ the cars—streamline them, for instance—I would need less material and people could keep their lunches. Would that be acceptable?”

“Yes! Do it now!”

“Very well.” Loki turned to address the guards. “And _please_ do not joggle my elbow.”

As he doubted he could get away with what Stark kept referring to as the “Asgardian pole dance of love”—and he didn’t have his scepter with him—Loki limited himself to several extremely impressive hand gestures. And a dance step. Well, two. And perhaps a “tadaa!” under his breath. He paused, gave a deep bow in Fury’s direction. “Will that be all?”

“Go check,” Fury told one of his visored minions.

Who came back within a minute. “They look like cars…”

“May I go then?” asked Loki with a bright smile; at Fury’s nod, he disappeared (literally).

-x-x-x-

The mayors of New York City and surrounding cities, and the governors of New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut, were not in the need-to-know about the power structure at SHIELD, so of course they would not contact Director Nick Fury directly. (Nor would he have agreed to meet them without considerable coercion.) However, anybody can talk to Captain America, right?

Right.

So it was Steve Rogers who brought the following concerns to Director Fury:

The Day of Ice Cream (yes, it was capitalized now): where could they get more of that tasty stuff?

Why were only tourists (and never New York City commuters) buying gasoline? Or oil, or car repairs? Even the coin-operated air pumps were seeing much less business from motorists.

Why did all the cars, taxis, buses, etc., now have gold hood ornaments in the shape of a goat-horned helmet?

And why, when one tried to sell a magic car that ran quietly and did not require oil or gas or air for its tires, or even to sell the highly collectable ornament off its hood, did the car turn back into the same clunker it had been before, and the hood ornament evaporate? Can’t a guy make a profit?

-x-x-x-

**Notes:**

The title comes from [here](http://www.heptune.com/lyrics/iscreamy.html).

Loki turned all of New York’s cars into ice cream in [_Journey Into Mystery_ #88 (1963)](http://www.marvelmasterworks.com/marvel/mm/thor/jim088.html). He also neutralized a Soviet atomic bomb, so he wasn’t _completely_ a bad guy in that issue. (If you have a Marvel subscription, the issue is [here](http://marvel.com/comics/issue/9784/journey_into_mystery_1952_88).)


End file.
